I am a perfectionist.

There, I said it. It’s always difficult for me to accept that fact, and as much as I hate to admit getting that gene from both of my parents, sadly it is the truth. What’s even more painful is trying to be perfect in everything that I do on my own website. Juggling full-time employment, freelance work, life, family and other passions end up screwing my ability to even do the slightest improvements and other fancy things I want to do on my site.

Being a perfectionist can also screw up your sleeping habits.

I already am perfecting my clients’ campaigns and projects, and that’s not the problem.┬áBut when it comes to my own site, getting the motivation, creative thought, and diligent development and execution can sometimes be a burden. I always have bigger visions on what I want out of it; trying to implement the latest and greatest design ideas and inspiration into my site that unfortunately rarely gets to see the light of day. I feel like I’m redecorating my own home at times, not being satisfied with one certain look and feel during a season, and just like in fashion, I must/have to/want to change. Trends are one thing, but are trends enough to change the way sites look only to have it revamped again in the near future?

That’s my challenge on my own site. Sadly, this site was made in a weekend (or two), with a few minor tweaks here and there post-launch (and some WordPress quirks that had to be amended down the road). There are things I want to redo but have no time to do so. I want to add new functionalities, make it better, showcase my personal style and work, and still be professional enough to attract clients, but can I really do that and juggle my own personal life? It’s like buying a leather sofa collection for your living room only to find that your collection is too big for the room. So now you have a great living room set as is, but fitting it in the existing space can require creative thinking.

Or just putting the whole frickin thing in the basement.

Well, my site is like my leather sofa collection, and it’s too big at this time to revamp and place it in whatever space I have left in my life. Did I tell you that being a perfectionist can stink? I am a perfectionist, so that makes it even more difficult to want to change things but not have the power, means or time to do so. What’s a designer to do? I already have ideas and implementing them is a waste of time without any sort of structure or strategy. (I actually do strategize for my clients, but sadly I don’t feel like I do it well for myself).

The hardest thing about being a designer is being your own worst critic. The hardest thing about being a perfectionist designer is never having the patience and the time to counter the criticism that you put yourself into. The hardest thing about redecorating your own house is redecorating it on your own.

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